A call for help (the letter no one will read)

I'm 18, I know I haven't lived anything yet and have all my life in front of me. Yet, when I look around me, I see a decaying world and people suffering everywhere. Everyone I know, life has fucked them, no matter how they struggled. Everything they did was "right" and did everything they could to survive, but life has taken everything from them nonetheless.
I have no experience or bagage, as some call it. I see others experiences and bagages, and that makes me hopeless... If those who struggle with all they have can't make it, what chance has a dreamless girl?

When I read something meant to be inspirational or to give hope, I just get sad... I can't see no way out and no light at the end of this tunnel called life. Who is truly happy in this life? No one, and don't say you are. You may have some brief moments of happiness, but in general, no one is truly happy.
What's the definition of a good life? Basically, being able to have a house and support yourself and your family. If you're not, well, you're fucked. If you are, you'll get some other drama I bet, maybe just to feel pain - 'cause if you don't feel pain you don't feel happiness.

So here I am, spending money on college to end up working in a coffee shop - if I get that lucky. Looking at the world in its raw (not through the reflecting mirror like most do) and realizing how ugly it is. We live an ugly life in a ugly world to reach a perfect death. Why? I wonder, is it all worth it?

"Close my eyes and I will be okay"
(Goodbye My Friends - Sixx:A.M.)

Presence

One has to come to terms with one's own mortality.
You know, you can't really help people who are having problems with mortality if you've got problems of your own, so you have to begin to sort things out.
And I thought I had sorted things out until I saw this little excerpt from this book which said, I shall remember what it said:
"Life is not the opposite of death. Death is the opposite of birth. Life is eternal."
and I thought that was the most profound words I'd ever heard about that issue, and it really put me at peace.
I felt this wonderful stillness... and I thought "That's it!" what else is there to say? Heh.
Life is eternal, so the opposite of life is not death, but life is eternal, it has no opposite.
So what happens there is.. I suppose one just remains in a state of pure consciousness.
Stillness... silence... you know, what we're looking for now, we're searching for it, or we have been searching for it, and now we have come closer to it.
And it's knowing that it's already there, there's nothing to look for, nothing to seek, it's there.
And it's going to be there all the time, forevermore.

by Anathema

Homenagem a Vanity

Vanity é uma alma louca presa num colete de forças. Pobre alma, tem alturas que nada sente, ora como pode ter uma fúria capaz de matar. Mas quem é Vanity? Não se sabe, mas sabemos nós quem é alguém? Somos todos estranhos de nós mesmos. Almas perdidas e sofridas - todas nós. Assim, o que podemos dizer de Vanity é o mesmo que podemos dizer de qualquer pessoa. Vanity é uma alma que sente e sofre, nada mais.
A diferença entre Vanity e o mundo é que Vanity não aguentou o seu génio e explodiu. O mundo aceita apenas ignorantes, génio é sinónimo de loucura e, como sabemos, qualquer mínimo sinal de loucura é perigoso. Vanity expôs o seu génio, ficando assim em risco. Como todos os loucos, ou seja - génios, foi presa no fim do mundo envolta com o casaco dos ignorantes.

Quem sou eu?

Um rosto na multidão, uma alma perdida. Mais um sorriso destroçado, mais um olhar vazio. Sou tudo e nada. Sou igual a ti, e no entanto tão diferente. Gosto disto, odeio aquilo. Tu gostas de viver, eu gosto de sonhar. Ou talvez seja o contrário. Quem sabe? Eu posso gostar de chocolate e tu de morango, mas ambos podemos gostar de pêra. (Eu posso ser contra a pena de morte, tu podes ser a favor, mas talvez ambos queiramos vingança.) Temos pensamentos diferentes, que no fundo chegam a ser iguais. Haverá sempre algo em comum, podemos é nunca o descobrir.
"Todos somos únicos", é mentira. Somos todos iguais. Às vezes choramos, outras rimos. Gritamos com pessoas, partimos objectos. Queremos fazer algo. Não queremos fazer nada. Estamos cansados e fartos... Temos a força do mundo, prontos a mudar tudo.
A verdade é que eu não sei quem sou, porque não sou ninguém. Não tenho nada de especial, nada que me destaque, e tu também não. Cada um é "ninguém". Ninguém sabe quem é, ninguém sabe quem é o outro, ninguém sabe nada... Quando morrermos, com o tempo, ninguém se vai lembrar de nós ou do que fomos. O ser humano não é nada nem ninguém. "Do pó nascemos e para o pó voltaremos."
Então, quem sou eu? Quem és tu? Nada mais do que pó.

Meds

I was alone, falling free,
Trying my best not to forget
What happened to us, what happened to me,
What happened as I let it slip.

I was confused by the powers that be,
Forgetting names and faces.
Passers by were looking at me
As if they could erase it.

(Baby... Did you forget to take your meds?)

I was alone, staring over the ledge,
Trying my best not to forget
All manner of joy, all manner of glee,
And our one heroic pledge.

How it mattered to us, how it mattered to me,
And the consequences.
I was confused, by the birds and the bees,
Forgetting if I meant it.

(Baby... Did you forget to take your meds?)
...And the sex and the drugs, and the complications.

Baby... Did you forget to take your meds?
[...]

I was alone, falling free, trying my best not to forget.

by Placebo

HOT MESS

*Existe a possibilidade de Chromeo virem a Portugal este verão.*
Celebro assim :)

You're a hot mess
You act like you've got nothing to lose
But I've already lost my temper

I put my lovin' on the line for you lady
But my spirit's were low
I would've committed a crime for you baby
Yeah, it got outta control

I know my temper's been kinda crazy
(I need somebody, I need someone)
Your love is real but I just feel suffocated
(I feel so lonely, I feel so numb)

I thought we had this conversation already
Do you really want to go through this all over again?

The way I was acting was just fine but then lately
You sort of noticed a shift
Everyday was Christmas time for you lady
And you got showered with gifts

But you could hear it in my voice
That I was getting kind of aloof
And I don't really have a choice
I guess I gotta tell you the truth

I know my temper's been kinda crazy
(I need somebody, I need someone)
Your love is real but I just feel suffocated
(I feel so lonely, I feel so numb)

I don't know what you want from me
I mean, I'm not a bloody social worker

I know my temper's been kinda crazy
(I need somebody, I need someone)
Your love is real but I just feel suffocated
(I feel so lonely, I feel so numb)

Bonafied Lovin'

A viver um sonho. Noção do real a zero.
E é assim que vivo.



"What you need is an older guy with a little bit of life experience, the right clothes and the right appearance. Oh girl, wouldn't that feel nice?"